Why We Need: Gratitude
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” Cicero
Recently I was catching up with a guy I’ve known for a number of years, during which time we’ve encouraged each other through some ups and downs in marriage, parenting, business and beyond.
Overall, things were good with him: he and his wife felt connected, his company was running smoothly, a first child who had gone through some growing pains was off to college and seemingly adapting well, other kids at home were healthy and content.
But then, somewhat out of nowhere from my vantage point, he said bitterly: “You know, I feel like I’ve been faithful with what I’ve been given, but I’m kind of ready for more from God. I look around and see so many incompetent dudes getting a windfall, and I’m still over here grinding every day.”
I reflected later on this part of the conversation, because I realized it was a mirror: I could relate to the sentiment he was expressing. And I didn’t like it.
Ingratitude is sneaky like that, for a couple of reasons. One, it is quickly generated by circumstances; our minds are easily disturbed and our hearts easily troubled by our environment. When a problem, disruption, obstacle makes an unplanned appearance—or when someone else’s circumstances project a spotlight onto the perceived deficiencies of our own—it’s far more natural for the human disposition to respond with an expletive than an expression of thanks.
Two, ingratitude often comes camouflaged as another vice. The actual substance of motives we label greed, lust, rage, resentment and so forth is actually composed of the molecular makeup of unthankfulness. It is strange, at first, to consider that gluttony could be gutted by gratefulness, but when we investigate the root systems of our wrongs, we begin to see them more clearly.
And we begin to understand the greatness of gratitude.
Perhaps the power of gratitude can be most quickly grasped by the simple exercise of pausing—wherever we find ourself—and expressing thanks for the smallest and most taken-for-granted things in our immediate environs. No matter how heavy any relational, financial, or medical burden presses, a quick thought of thankfulness can lighten it: “I’m thankful for this coffee”; “I’m thankful for this pillow”; “I’m thankful I can be here”; “I’m thankful I can think”. Immediately, a ray of light appears through the dark clouds of our mind, a small raindrop hits the parched soil of our heart.
To add some Shakespearean seasoning to this table of truth, the winter of our discontent is made glorious summer by the planting of just the smallest grain of gratitude.
And it is for this very reason our Adversary and Accuser will cease never to steer us toward the sulking discontent that, like nothing else, sullies our sense of sonship. From the beginning, the central strategy has been to turn sons and daughters from the bliss of grateful wonder and expectation to the grasping, grinding covetousness of ingratitude.
The Son himself pointed us to this truth through his parable of paternal pathos: a younger son so crushed by life his only thought was to plead for handouts, and an elder son so duty-bound, self-shackled, and resentful that he mistook “the grind” to be the path to grace. Both brothers in bondage to dispositions that sprouted ingratitude like weeds; both sons self-relegated to the condition of slaving servant because of a dearth of thanksgiving.
A deeper dive reveals precisely why sons devolve into slaves in the absence of gratitude. While the word conveys “thankfulness”, it originally meant “good will”, and comes to us from the Latin gratus, meaning “pleasing”, from which we also get the term gratify. This can help us understand why a lack of gratitude in our life can so easily lead us into self-gratifying (and, hence, self-centered) pursuits.
Even more revealing, however, is the origin of gratus itself. It stems from an ancient linguistic root that means, in short, “favor”.
At the heart of gratitude, then, is the act of receiving favor and the experience of being favored; of being celebrated and rejoiced over, dare we say…gratuitously. It is to be now a thankful son who is made an heir with the first thankful Son, experiencing the favor of sonship, together.
Living and leading in the favor of the Father, together.
Thankfully, it’s really that simple.
“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18